"There comes a time for each of us, when
everything seems shallow, except the
longing of our soul to find its own true path."
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Diaries by Sacinandana Swami

Vrindavan Diary 2014 - Part 5

By Sacinandana Swami

Everything is here!

Let me describe to you my life here in Vrindavan. For a few days now I have been staying in a little mud house with one metre thick walls and have gone deeper and deeper into that level of consciousness where revelations can take place.

Today the International retreats start, so I have to leave this little “anchor in paradise” and drive to Varsana. There, at the bottom of the stairway that leads to Radha’s Palace, we will absorb ourselves into nama tattva and the practice of chanting.

But before all that, let me just say a little something about Gaurahari’s marriage at Govinda-kunda. As I enter the tranquil atmosphere of Dinabandhu Baba’s asram at Govinda-kunda, I immediately noticed that he has whitewashed every brick in the wall that he could get his hands on. I also noticed a monkey who appeared to have given a helping hand – because its arms were all white. In this way, the Baba had converted this hermitage into a joyful wedding suite. After the ceremonies were over, I spoke for some time with Dinabandhu Baba, whose guru had asked him to build a temple and asram next to Govinda-kunda. When he heard that this time I would only stay for a few hours and then go on to Varsana, he gave me a deep insight into his own convictions. “I don’t want to go anywhere any longer”, he said. “I feel that through my guru, Srimati Radharani has personally presented me with this place. I don’t need to go anywhere else. What more do I require but to engage myself in bhajan and service here, and go deeper.”

What wisdom! What desirable conviction! I pray that my search in that horizontal direction will soon be concluded. Travelling this world, even to different Holy Places, is ultimately a waste of time… It means travelling in the wrong direction! We need instead to travel deep to obtain something.

People, like Dinabandhu Baba, have realized that travelling and searching may be good until one has found one’s own true place and path. In this connection, Lord Brahma says,

“Scientists may travel the earth and one day be able to count the number of atoms and snowflakes, but they cannot understand Your unlimited qualities and pastimes by journeying down the road of the senses, thus going externally.”

Instead, one should stop, be at peace with oneself, trust that Krishna has already made the best arrangement and rely on Him. For Dinabandhu, this meant staying in a little asram with seven cows (one of them being very temperamental), worshiping his Deities with ornaments and aratikas, and chasing away the monkeys who steal food. For others, it may mean different things. As for me, let the reactions to my own karma roll over me – as it is bound to happen – but let me stay anchored and focused within my service. Let me live in anticipation of the light, and let the Lord’s love shine brightly into my heart and thus empower my words, my body, my mind, my heart and all I do. When a person passes his days in such consciousness, he will feel the comforting of the heart he has always been anxiously looking for.
I have always admired these sadhus who remain acala – unmovable, and year after year, through monsoons and hot summer seasons, persist and continue their spiritual practice undisturbed, knowing that their search has ended. They have arrived and can now go towards the ultimate direction in life – deep into the spiritual essence.

Once I visited such a sadhu who lived next to a lake in a little mud house. It was winter and quite cold. He sat in the warming rays of the morning sun. What struck me was his age: externally very old – internally uncomplicated, like a child. When he was introduced to me, he told me his favourite pastime of Krsna’s and at the end stopped abruptly by saying,

“Oh Maharaja, you are very fortunate to come to this spot.”
Pointing to the place where we were sitting he continued: “Here the whole spiritual world is present. We don’t need to go anywhere. We only need to develop the eyes to see it.“

That sums up my Vrndavana experience so far: “Everything is here! Now let me pray for the eyes to see…”
 

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